How to Raise Independent Children: 9 Tips for Parents

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If you want to know how to raise independent children, we’re sharing 9 tips and ideas to encourage you.

Like most mothers I know, I had very particular ideas on how I desired to raise my daughter when I first learned I was pregnant with her. My mom was not the type to child my sister and me when we were children as she preferred to raise strong, independent women who could deal with no matter life threw at them. This has served me thoroughly over the course of my life, however at times it’s been a little bit of a double-edged sword. I grew up feeling as if I needed to be perfect in each aspect of my life, and that asking for assist was an indication of weakness. It has taken me most of my grownup life to learn how to let go of the unrealistic expectations I used to attempt to live up to, and permit myself to be completely UN-perfect.

This has clearly had a profound impact on how I parent my very personal daughter. While I want her to be self-sufficient and able to face on her personal two feet, I additionally want her to know it’s okay to ask for assist and lean on others when she wants to. It’s been surprisingly difficult for me to discover a balance I’m comfortable with – to determine how to push my daughter with out feeling as if I’m anticipating an excessive amount of from her.

If you want to know how to raise independent children, right here are 9 tips which have actually helped me.

How to Raise Independent Children

If you’re attempting to determine how to raise independent children, the very very first factor you want to do is have an open and honest dialog with your child. Explain your expectations and the guidelines by which you want your home to be governed, and supply common reminders alongside the way to set your little ones up for success. Keep in thoughts that teaching your kids independence isn’t a negative thing. Empowering your kids and giving them extra accountability doesn’t simply teach them important life skills – it additionally shows them that you belief them, and that they’re an important and contributing a half of your family. This can have a actually positive impact on their self-confidence and emotions of self-worth when done correctly, so watch out to border this in an encouraging and positive light.

If your kids have a tendency to dawdle, one other one of my favourite tips for elevating independent children is to create a predictable weekday and weekend routine. You can merely write a list of motion items on a piece of paper for particular times of the day and connect it to a clipboard, or get fancy with a customized magnetic guidelines (Melissa and Doug has a nice one you can personalize), however the purpose stays the same: when your kids know precisely what they should do, they’re going to be extra likely to pitch in and assist out with out you nagging and reminding them.

When I first began to consider assigning chores to my daughter, my preliminary fear was that it would have a negative impact on our relationship. I envisioned the two of us engaging in endless energy struggles every day as that was the expertise I had with my very personal mother. But as I began researching chore charts and the advantages of rewarding kids for serving to out across the house, I realized that the issue with my very personal childhood had nothing to do with being given responsibility, and everything to do with the truth that my mom didn’t choose age appropriate chores for me.

As talked about earlier, empowering your child and giving her or him extra accountability actually shows that you belief them and that they’re a contributing a half of the family, which can actually strengthen your relationship. CLICK HERE for a list of age-appropriate chores to assist you get started!

When you see your child struggling with a brand new task you are attempting to show him or her, it may be actually tempting to leap in and attempt to rescue them. It can additionally really feel a lot simpler if you simply do it yourself, however keep in thoughts that the one way your child will learn is by trial and error. A nice tip I’ve learned whereas encouraging extra independence in my daughter is to easily SLOW DOWN. We live in a day and age the place we’re inspired to over-schedule ourselves and our children as a lot as possible, which could make it actually difficult to permit our little ones the time they should practice and develop new skills as they grow.

If you’re an impatient Type A mom, I discover it useful to practice deep breathing and count silently in my head to prevent myself from intervening. 🙂

Reinforcement is a fabulous technique parents and caregivers can use to extend the likelihood that a child will repeat a fascinating behavior, and whereas each positive and negative types of reinforcement can assist with teaching children self-control, analysis tends to suggest that positive reinforcement is the most effective. I am a HUGE fan of reward charts, and if you’re attempting to determine how to raise independent children, this tip could be life-changing for you! Reward charts have a tendency to be most efficient in kids aged 2-10 years, and offer a easy way to maintain kids motivated with out energy struggles and consequences. I’ve written an entire post about how to efficiently implement reward charts, together with hyperlinks to my favourite free printable choices in addition to some nice budget-friendly customizable options, which you can learn HERE.

Provide your child alternatives to do issues past what she or he feels succesful of, and assist her or him discover methods to obtain these goals. This may imply serving to your little one with planning and organizing their time, teaching them how to interrupt duties down into smaller, extra manageable motion items, etc. The level is to (gently) push your child past what she or he feels they’re succesful of, after which serving to them meet (or exceed) what they got down to take motion they really feel extra assured of their abilities.

As a lot as we want our children to excel and obtain nice things, remember that there’s a fine line between encouraging them and pushing them too far. There is nothing wrong with setting expectations for your child, however be sure they’re aligned with his or her capabilities, remember to reward effort over results, and chorus from evaluating your little one to others.

Another nice tip for these that want to know how to raise independent children is to permit them to make errors and assist them see the teachings they learn alongside the way. As tempting as it’s to guard our children from failure, life isn’t perfect and it’s important our children really feel assured and comfortable taking risks. We want our children to view setbacks as studying alternatives to assist them grow, develop, and transfer forward, and whereas it may be difficult watching our little ones fail, teaching them how to deal with adversity will serve them a lot higher inside the lengthy run. Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, teach your child to focus on what went right, and assist her or him strategize what she or he can do differently subsequent time.

My final tip for these that are attempting to determine how to raise independent children is to give your self and your child GRACE. There is no wrong or proper way to do this, and you’ll have days the place issues don’t go in accordance to plan. Parenting is difficult on the higher of times, and when you’re stepping outside of your consolation zone and attempting to show your little one new skills and placing extra belief in them, it can test every ounce of your patience. There will be days when you really feel like you’ve fallen short, and when this occurs, it’s important to take a second to cease and remember that you’re solely human. And so is your child. Take a few deep breaths, give your child a hug, and remember these useful phrases by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

‘Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as quickly as you can. Tomorrow is a brand new day. You shall start it serenely and with too excessive a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.’

If you want to know how to raise independent children, I hope these tips and ideas show useful to you! Remember to be clear and consistent, to push your child inside his or her limits, to decelerate and permit your child to make mistakes, and to give everybody grace alongside the way!

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